my friends are nicer to me than you are.
maybe i'll go all lesbian just to see how you react.

thanks,

for this one thing.






I am writing again.

no sweetheart in the dark to call my own

A sleep like a coma at the scene of my self-destruction.

Here is my deepest secret and darkest fear: my life is meaningless.
I do nothing.
Always looking for tomorrow, my present sits discarded in a corner; dangerously gathering dust until its imminent explosion when I regret all of my yesterdays.

I admire their dedication and wish so hard I could imitate it.
My head and body pound with a thousand words. Emotion clogs my arteries and I forget to breathe.

a need for guidance

When I read that comment it made me ache deep inside, I'm not sure if it was serious, but it really fucking hurt. You say that it wasn't you. But the possibility still makes me want to cry.
By the way, if you're not into it, man up and tell me already.

This sunny weather seems sarcastic to me. They're the happiest of days, but everything is all off balance.

Going to start writing in my book today, wish me luck universe.

x

Fall

Back from a trip to the moon, so lovely, wish I could have stayed.
Whilst travelling I bought THE nicest books:
- Tess of the D'urbervilles by Thomas Hardy (pretty vintage series cover)
- Emma by Jane Austen (same vintage series with an equally nice cover)
- Northanger Abbey by Jane again (ditto)
- A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
, and my favourite of all;
- Count Me the Stars by Kylie Johnson - poetry so beautiful I sink into a lethargic sense of inspiration.

She was never only dancing, no one ever really is.

To buy:
Rabbit night light to keep me company.
Old metal hair clip with horses on.
Some nice rings.


Dear hair, please grow faster.
I'm up for a spot of dam camping very soon. Mum is giving me some old books, I'm so happy. Can't find fairy lights which is annoying. When my room becomes lovely I'll post some pictures.
Can't wait for fish swap; George is going to be the greatest.
My mind is not thinking creatively tonight, apologies. I am thinking in staccato instant photographs. Short sentences. With hints of rage.

x

tiny notes,

dear sufjan stevens, you are truly absolument étonnant.

dear french, I want to be able to speak and understand you.

dear c, paris next year, it's going to happen.

dear audrey, you will never cease to amaze me, ever.

dear tea, want to be lovers?

dear room, please expand and clean yourself.

dear me, stop being so irritating.

dear you, stop being so nonchalant about me.

dear me, you're just being childish, so stop.

"Well I have a double re-cracker that can crack through anything in the universe and that's the most powerful thing ever. Period. Done."

x