basically what we have here is a dreamer. somebody out of touch with reality. when she jumped, she probably thought she'd fly

last night was such a mixture of emotions. regretting some aspects alot this morning, but heaps happy with others. my entire body aches, and my face is grazed and my hand and knee hurt so so much. but oddly enough i think it was worth it.

now the sky is a dangerous brown and blue. ominous with possibilities.

been reading the virgin suicides all day. i really really like it. so much that i almost don't want to read it because i'm scared about finishing it.

less than a month to go, gosh i'm frightened. 'i'll miss you' doesn't even start to cover it.

x

cover up my ears

sometimes your love

it’s so pretty i just wanna sink in

and sometimes your heart

well, it’s so pretty i just wanna live there

well i wish i could bottle it up and breathe it back like valium

and sometimes your heart it’s so pretty

i just wanna live there

so when i find a scientist to help me

and if i meet the maker

of all the universe

i’ll ask him why we’re here and what we’re here for

and i’ll tell them all the stories

about our little world

well i’ve been waiting

well i’ve been waiting

sometimes your love is so quiet i don’t even need to speak

sometimes your heart is so loud i can’t even hear the beat

well i wish i could bottle it up and breathe it back like valium

sometimes your love is so quiet i don’t even need to speak

x

soy milk, devendra banhart, cleaning my room, chicken soup.

pretty well blissful.

sulk

i worked out my attraction to you:

it's dangerous and exciting because i know i shouldn't do it.

that's it.

let's get hectic.

x

“ the clitoris is pure in purpose. it is the only organ in the body designed purely for pleasure. the clitoris is simply a bundle of nerves: 8,000 nerve fibers, to be precise. that’s a higher concentration of nerve fibers than is found anywhere else in the body, including the fingertips, lips, and tongue, and it is twice… twice… twice the number in the penis. who needs a handgun when you’ve got a semiautomatic.

C

:

THAT MAKES ME WANNA FUCKING SPEW

FIRSTLY

ITS FUCKING JULY

ALSO

WHY IS SHE ALL PINK AND POWDERY

THEN MY COMPUTER FROZE

AND I HAD TO LOOK AT IT LOTS

lol. XD rants. best.

x

forgive them even if they are not sorry

absorb

mother ganga take me higher

you wake up

you're on fire

light a candle in the shadows

a different glow for every window

mother ganga take me higher

walk together to the river

side by side

come to die here

oh oh oh oh

there's nothing in the water

there's nothing in the water we can't fight

we get high

x

hands up who wants a joy division t shirt.

trash it

beach house is amazing

i swear on my name

a blanket of sheer monotony presses down on me, a suffocating silence upon all of my senses. I am so extremely unstimulated by anything that i find my rational boundaries slipping and dissolving. i am but a ghost of what was; what could have been. a fading image of myself, an old photograph spotted with age, my face becoming slowly obscured as i slip from reality. maybe you can break this spell?

i hope so...

x

ohwow,

la la la

i am so excited you're coming. i'm telling everyone i know. pretty sure they don't care. so what, im pumped.

i have an itchy spot on my tongue. i also have a mystery illness. whinge whinge whinge.

tea. cold weather. curly hair. slim cigarettes. dreamy music. rain. clean room. baths. new makeup. baths. plans for future adventures. dreaming. you. baths. jager. clean cupboards. vacuuming. reading. shinies. quiet thinking.

x

so love me now,

hell is coming

kiss my mouth,

hell is here

little soldier, little insect, you know war it has no heart

it will kill you in the sunshine or happily in the dark

where kindness is a card game or a bent-up cigarette

in the trenches, in the hard rain, with a bullet and a bit

he says, 'help me out'

hell is coming

could you do it now?

hell is here

see the sterile soil,

poisoned sky

yellow water,

final scraps of life

bringing new tears

wake, baby, wake but leave that blanket around you there is no where as safe

i'm leaving this place but there is nothing I'm planning to take

just you

just you

x

and it's ok, you give me everything i need

whispers

elevators

bad boy

drive

new york girl

bang.

x

and the world spins madly on,

p.s. i want a pony and a kitten. thanks.

x

x

all of this is tearing us apart

You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends.

So, that's a quote from Buffy. But I'm pretty sure it sums up our relationship.

o

dying my hair tonight, this regrowth makes me feel constantly dirty. wish me luck for it to not turn green. eek.

don't even fancy you anymore, tool.

cuddles are so the best. not sure what either of us wants though. don't really mind too much.

i'm having an out of body experience, my mind floats a few centimetres above the top of my head, and i feel as though i'm typing from the other side of a dream. send me a postcard from your distant destination.

x

surrounded

all we'll need is candlelight, and a de angelo song

x

i wish i was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

when i get bored, i buy stuff. now i possess numerous things i'll never use/wear/want.

woops.

x

p.s.

http://elsheedy.blogspot.com/

ellymay, she knows a bit how the world works. plus she's a bit of a cool kid.

x

throw me in a submarine and push it into the sea

x

all the stars in the sky

going bowling soon, i'm excited. old school. hot chips with lots of sauce, fanta, paper straws. then going to see toystory. be jealous. i love my family.

x

i met you somewhere in a hell beneath the stairs

there's someone in that room that frightens you when they go boom

boom, boom, boom...

the color you say is black is the one you might lack

in the size of your eyes, is there a righteous prize?

i met you...

there's something wrong with our hearts

when they beat pure they stand apart

in the black room, the light, watch the seabird fall

real love, it finds you somewhere with your back to it

i met you...

you know, you know, we belong by the stream, to the dawn

x

her green plastic watering can,

listening to radiohead. it's a soundtrack for revelations and epiphanies.

he told me a secret about you. about how you feel about me. and now i'm a mixture of intense happiness and indecisiveness about what to do.

x